I remember a time when ex-girlfriend K (rutabaga) was having a problem with her roommates and the theft of her foodstuffs. In response I told her to write her name on her groceries. Not the typical yummy leftovers, milk or cheese that most people would choose to do, but EVERYTHING. Raw salmon name it. Head of lettuce name it. Eggs individually name them. I actually ended up doing this, being the great boyfriend that I am. It not only prevented her food from being stolen, but also served the dual purpose of making fun of her roommates, while at the same time calling them out for being thieves.

If there is one thing that I remember learning in Social Science class it is Massive Retaliation. Not the fact that is not a suitable means of dealing with things, in fact it will most likely lead to Total Global Annihilation. But come on it has the words massive and retaliation in it. What’s not to love?

So with that in mind I am writing my name on everything that I put in the fridge at work.

Take that suckers!