What is my major malfunction?

So no matter how many times I do it, things never go according to plan. Sometimes I try to be spontaneous. Casual. Spur of the moment. Other times I plan it out. Know what I'm going to say and act it out. What I'm talking about is calling Girl. Girl is the ubiquitous girl. Girl from class. Girl from the bar. Girl with the red backpack riding the 71. Etc., etc. The first time drives me nuts. Personal interaction. No problem. Getting the number. Half the battle. Laying pipe. Yeah... eventually, hopefully. But calling? I revert back to the chubby, awkward, pre-contacts version of myself. I don't get it.

I always hype it up and call at semi-random times. Can't call on the hour, that's when television happens. Can't call on the half hour, I'll just hit the snooze and put it off. So it's usually at 17 past or 22 till. Don't question the madness.

The more I think about it, I'm not really nervous about talking to Girl, it's more of the actual calling. I don't have the best phone persona. Definitely not as cool as the wind in my hair, fly by the seat of my pants persona. Witty asides just don't seem to telecommunicate well for me.

Anyways with a little prodding from The Jule I pulled the trigger at 9:04 and... VOICEMAIL. Hmm... didn't see that coming. Bumbled through my usual repoire of actually attempting to carry on a conversation with the VM. For a good time, next time I call you don't answer and you'll experience it all for yourself.

Point of the story: I am not a role model.