Head case

So my entire life I have been living a sham. I bought into it because my friends, the people I trusted and loved the most told me it was true. But they were wrong... and I feel so vindicated.

For the longest time I was convinced that I had a huge head. My melon was gargantuan. An orange on a toothpick if you will. But you know what, my head isn't that big. In fact compared to my good friends, my head is downright tiny. Well maybe not that far but still.

I have recently bought my first fitted baseball hat and this revelation was amazing. I don't have an exceptionally large head. 7 3/8 perfectly normal. I didn't have to special order my hat from some sort of Big and Tall store. Frank's dome piece is even slightly bigger than mine. Samir and Ben, negligible. Now Matt on the other hand... I love the big lug.

My one remaining caveat is the fact that my head is so completely, utterly round (and my ongoing battle with growing my hair out). That is why it is impossible for me to wear hats and most other forms of headwear without looking silly. But I still fight through it because as a guy, I wear hats on occasion. And I still consider my inability to wear a baseball hat for longer than 45 minutes at a time the sole reason my career as a Major League Baseball player never materialized. Another large hang-up I have is the fact that I cannot wear any kind of winter cap without looking like a phallus. Granted I live in New England and it is downright frigid 6 months out of the year, but I can deal.

Does my head block out the sun? No. Does it in fact look like a chili bowl? Yes, but I can take pride in my average size head.