How'd this Silver Spoon in my mouth get here?

Let's just get things straight here. I don't live in the apartment with the doorman or the valet parking. There's no in-house fitness center or 24-hour dry cleaning. That's the apartment next door to me. But things are pretty darn swank at this place. What can I say, Nob Hill
is pretty bourgeois.

And maybe the latest example of my new found largess is that we have a maid cleaning lady Brazilian housekeeper. OK yes, they have that whole hot Brazilian thing going on (those links: NSFW). Oh yeah, where was I? Yes, the housekeeper. My roommate told me going into the apartment that he has a cleaning lady come and that it's one of the few things we have to pay extra for. (OK fine, so one of the building's perks is free cable, but we don't even have HBO.) He's a doctor, I'm working/school. We're both lazy. But it's crazy how amazingly efficient they are.

A glimpse into the madness is that not only were our bath towels folded in some sort of origami crane, but even the first piece of toilet paper was folded into a nice neat triangle. Yup, exactly like a hotel. And even better than some of the shady motels I've stayed at previously. But I think the topper, was that as I was getting into bed I realize that my sheets have been tucked in. Granted I hate having crazy tucked in sheets like that; it makes feel really trapped. But damn...I was expecting a mint on my pillow and some shampoo I could steal.

Hi, I'm my name is Phineas T. Quan and this is my rags to riches story...not!