My mom is cooler than your mom

Remember that game kids used to play on the school playground? My dad's a doctor, my dad's a rocket scientist. Well my dad can beat up your dad. Well there's a new game and it's my Mom is cooler than your mom. And just so no one gets their panties in a knot this isn't an indictment on how you were raised. Because it goes without saying that everyone has a unique situation growing up. I am very thankful to both my parents for working so hard to raise me properly with values, respect for others and certain life comforts.

But with that being said, my mom rules!

And it's not one of those things were she's so not cool, she becomes cool ala Marge Simpson or Napoleon Dynamite. No squares here. As all my friend's know my parents are night owls, I guess that's where I get it from too. Sometimes it's annoying like in high school coming home drunk & stumbly and having your mom on the couch watching Extra, Extra! But that just means that she can let me know that there's chocolate cake to eat.

I'm sure lots of mothers and sons have close relationships, but it's pretty funny when your bummed about breaking up with your girlfriend and your mom can pull out the "I've noticed a pattern with all your previous girlfriends. And well based on your track record, it would seem that their (girlfriend's) boobs always seem to be larger than previously" card. Oh my god did my mom just say that? That's hilarious. And no I don't think I will be following the exponential boob rule. I can't/want a girl with Es. No sir, I do not.

Before you draw any Oedipal symbolism, I'll clear up what this is all about. So I had some tickets to the Sox game that I was supposed to go with my roommate, but she came down with a horrible cold and was in condition to go. So I asked my mom if she wanted to go instead. I knew my dad was going to be working today and she didn't have any plans. Besides how often do I have the opportunity to thank my mom for, well pretty much everything?

So my mom rules because she keeps it real. She rocks a Red Sox jersey t-shirt, says she doesn't want a hotdog, but eats one anyways and wanted to stay until that 27th out was nailed down. No LA fans here. Not to mention she belted out "Sweet Caroline" during the eighth, she booed Mark Bellhorn when he struck out looking and most impressively she knew that when Wade Miller left the game after giving up the tieing run he was going to get a No Decision. Wow I was going to ask her to explain the infield fly rule, but I was scared.

Oh yeah my mom will take on all comers in a Crab Rangoon making battle royale. Any takers?