Skeletons in the closet

Everyone's got 'em. I know you do and I sure as hell know I do. Things that I'm not proud of; things that I can tell some people, but not others; things that I can't tell anyone; and things that if I tell I will be very bad person. But sometimes you just need to let someone know. And sometimes you need to let it be known in the form of an anonymous postcard.

Check out PostSecret. A mail art project where you're invited to send in anonymous postcards with a "secret" written on it. The submissions are then shared. Four months later, lots of deep, hilarious, weird, sexy and creepy secrets are on display. Enjoy.
Directions to share are on the 1/1/05 post.

Leftovers

Yum... I really think one of the greatest things on the face of the earth are leftovers. Restaurant-quality food at your fingertips in mere seconds, you really can't beat that. Just the right proportion of food for your next day's lunch or in my case now, a pre-bed time snack. And there's no way that I was going to actually cook at this time of night. Some fab potato gnocchi from Carlo's, with an exquisite sauce of sundried tomatoes, capers and fire-grilled chicken. Sublime.

I was supposed to have it at work today, but ended up having an impromptu luncheon with the new girl instead. And nothing impresses cute blond girls like eating out of tupperware. So I've pretty much been looking forward to it all day.

How much do I love leftovers? Well, an ex-girlfriend of mine used to be very possessive of her leftovers. I'm not saying that it's the main reason we broke up, but it was an obvious sign of her instability. She would absolutely freak out if I even tasted her food. At the restaurant, on her plate fine, but as soon as chicken hit Styrofoam take-out container it was strictly off limits. Since we would always end up back at my place and we never had class before 11, we would invariably stay up late and need some sustenance to catch our second wind. Also, since I usually paid for dinner whenever we went out I assumed that anything that entered my refrigerator I would have dibs on. This did not go over well with her, nor me when she would be nibbling on something delectable and I would be having a Pop-Tart.

Romper room

You can forgive me if I forgot that today is Take Your Child to Work Day. Especially considering that I don't actually have any kids to take to work. And if I did, would I?

Maybe it's my insular nature, but "the day where all parents are welcome to bring in their lovely children and show them how much fun work can be. Dry erase boards, post-its, and going out to lunch" is not my idea of fun.

You know if this whole copywriting thing doesn't pan out I think I could always work at Target. Just hear me out. Taking a look at my closet I realize that my wardrobe consists of an abnormal amount of red items. I think I'd be able to get through at least a week plus only wearing my Red Sox gear. A smart crimson button-up, a few Christmas-style sweaters, my fire engine rockstar track jacket and when June, July, August roles around it'll be all-Yao, all-the-time.

With that being said I've been searching the metro area for a pair of these bad Larry's in size 14:

Happy real Birthday Jule

Cleaning up

So in the spirit of spring cleaning, a new cell phone and getting a new email address (TBA) I've decided to part ways with a few people that I no longer talk to. It was quite the introspective moment. Lot's of people from college that I haven't talked to since graduation; former co-workers; a few Thursday night Dates that never made it to the weekend; long heard from friends from high school; a professor that I need to thank; ex-girlfriends that I never talk to; the friend that should have been my girl; and the family member that I never even realized had an email address.

I have also been trying to get in contact with a few of these people. I'm expecting a lot of small talk, "How's it going?, where are you living? what are you doing for work, etc.," but why not really? I've actually been reunited with a few of these familiar faces of late, some for the best and others that reminded me why we no longer speak. All I have to do now is find out where my wacky college roommate is and I'm all set.

I think I'll have to tackle my IM buddy list another day.

morning blend

I should be sleeping, but instead I took a shower and am no longer tired. It's pretty hard to imagine being 2:30 in the afternoon, but it was a late night and an early morning. Pretty much whenever I drink my internal clock gets messed up and I end up only being able to get a few restless hours of sleep. I woke up, rummaged around the apartment making a half-hearted attempt at cleaning before going out to breakfast with some friends. Due to a misinterpretation of weather patterns, my roommate and I were woefully underdressed for the elements. Luckily my friend had a blanket in his car that I was able to borrow to use as some sort of shawl/poncho to protect us from the rain and cold. After waiting to finally get into the diner, I think my stomach had a change of heart and I audibled away to the hamburger club. I figure that as long as I have my shades drawn and remain in my bathrobe I will be able to pass off reading, napping and listening to the Sox game as my Sunday.

A fine mist of rain seems to have to taken residence in the area, but I cannot say for sure as I have not been outside of yet. With temperatures hovering around 50 degrees this most certainly isn't summer rain. There will be no splashing in puddles, the smell of thunder, rain drops the size of areolas nor rainbows. Thankfully the days activities will be strictly indoors.

We are midway through the NFL's annual restock of talent known as the Draft, but the lack of trades has lead to an especially uneventful day. But I am merely bidding my time until tonight's Celtics-Pacers' tilt at the new Garden. Opening round of the NBA playoffs... it's FANTASTIC! (I haven't been keeping up-to-date on David Stern's latest marketing ploy so I'm sticking with what I know.)

It should be a grand ole time. Especially considering that I am going with quite the motley assortment of people: 1) this dude from work, who may or may not be friends with the girl I was trying to insert myself into 2) the roommate of a friend who is a good guy, but didn't know his name until a month ago and 3) my editor friend Geoff, who's the closest thing I got to a wing-man 'round these parts. I was supposed to go with two other friends, but something came up so I was left with the dream team. I guess our common denominator will be rooting on the Celtics and checking out the cute girls on the Jumbo-Tron in some sort of altered state.

Oh, and my roommate is having her b-day bash tonight. I feel bad that I am going to miss the start of the party, but the Celts winning the Atlantic and clinching home-court doesn't happen every year. Actually I had bought the tickets back in May when they first went on sale and just my luck it would happen to be on the same day.

Let's go Green!

Last day on rails

As school vacation week is over. No more traffic-free commutes, hitting the snooze an extra time and getting a parking spot in the good lot. Oh well, looks like I'll have to reward myself with a sausage, egg & cheese this morning.

Had quite the full house last night. Had V and her boy, Derek, over for dinner. You may remember V from my previous rants about out shared former employer and our shared adventures in the Ville and at the Galleria. I took another stab at making lasagna and next time I think I'm going to leave it to Stouffer's or at least try using the noodles that actually require boiling.

With J & K, Jim as well as JFO and Jule's little bro, representing the teacher/student/week-off contingent, couch space was at a premium. Oh well, good friends and good food is worth it. Now back to work and cheesy goodness.

CUSTSERV@OMAHASTEAKS.COM

I haven't really figured out my new cell phone exactly and as soon as I do I'm going to get me a new cell ring as right now I have a cross between what sounds like some sort of non-hetero jazz number and a bird call. So it was much to my dismay whenever I mad-dash over to my phone and it is a number that I do not recognize. A mystery caller, perhaps. But no it was a telemarketer. But it wasn't just any telemarketer: it was Ryan from Omaha Steaks. I was in a good mood so I was willing to humor him. He was telling me about this great offer on steak afterall. But as he is speaking it dawns on me that this is my cell phone... and how the heck did he get it in the first place. So in mid-spiel, right after the offer for the bacon wrapped filets and before he could get to the pork chops, I ask him how he got this number. I think I really caught him off guard with this Now he was mine.

Me: Wow, that does sound like a really good offer. But did you know that this is my cell phone? How did you get it?
Ryan: I guess that this was the number that you gave us.
Me: Hmm... must be. But hey so you know I don't really have a lot of minutes. Nights and weekends you know?
Ryan: Oh yeah that's the worst. My nights don't start till 9 pm.
Me: Yeah, me too. But hey why don't you just email me what you are offering and I'll get back to you.
Ryan: Um, O.K.

7 minutes later an email from: CUSTSERV@OMAHASTEAKS.COM

Is this a deal or what?

********************* AWESOME APRIL ***********************
Selection  Description           Regular$     Sale$  Savings

COMBO.....AWESOME APRIL..........$222.00......$129.99..$92.01
4/5 OZ FILET MIGNONS
4/5 OZ TOP SIRLOINS
4/4 OZ BONELESS PORK CHOPS
4/4 OZ CHICKEN BREASTS
6/8 MEDITERRANEAN SIRLOIN SKEWERS
10 PORTIONS POTATOES AU GRATIN
6/4 OZ OMAHA STEAKS BURGERS
YOUR CHOICE FREE WITH COMBO EITHER
7863 OMAHA STEAKS SEASONING OR
7864 SOUTHWEST CHIPOTLE SEASONING

Nightcap

It's quarter to one and Shoveling Guy just came back from somewhere. What the heck is he doing out at this hour? I'm like one of those lonely old ladies who has nothing better to do than spy on her neighbors. But Shoveling Guy? This late on a Tuesday night? I'm going to let my imagination get the better of me and if I don't see Mrs. Shoveling Guy around tomorrow and there is a mysterious patch of grass dug up in the backyard I'm calling the cops. It is trash day after all.

Congratulations Mike & Lisa! My two good friends just told me that they are having a baby. They are my only married friends (at this time) and yet somehow they are cooler than most people I know. And based on Mike's sense of humor he will either have a son who isn't into sports or a daughter who will grow up to be drop-dead gorgeous.

I know I've only know him for a short period of time, but my roommate's (relatively) new boyfriend has already vaulted into the top echelon of Roommate Significant Others. He could be jockeying for 2nd place overall, but he is definitely on the medal stand. (Don't worry Erin, it's not like we've co-managed a fantasy baseball team together or anything.) Maybe it's a reflection of the past boy-/girl- friends that I have come across, but he's a Dylan McKay compared to everyone else's Steve Sanders'. He's actually a rockstar who just wrapped up an Asia tour. I would advise you female readers to throw your panties at him, but my roommate would be angry if I said that: so don't. He's got the most eclectic/random knowledge of movies ever. Old Elvis & Black JFK: Bubba Ho-Tep ring a bell? He also has a story for every occasion. He's one of those guys when you just happen to be talking about Wisconsin and he'll know not only know a great bar to go to, but also where to pick up a bucket of fried chicken at 3 am when you leave the joint. But ultimately what sealed the deal is the great chotkes that he always brings: starting with tequila & dirty rags to the smallest oven mitt west of the Mississippi (yes, my love can be bought). And to top it he makes my roommate swoon, which is pretty integral to the whole deal. Oh, he also laughs at Pirate jokes. Yes, I think I am developing a non-sexual Tom Brady-esque crush on him.

Free Cone Day

Get 'em while they last. From 12 to 8 at local Ben & Jerry's.

Update: 4:36 just got back from having a cone with Elaine. Me Fossil Fuel, her Phish Food.

A year ago today

Tailgate for life

One of the top 7 happiest days/events in my life:

9:30 am: beer in one hand, a Dunkin Donut's Curt Schilling breakfast sandwich in the other, as my best friend Frank and I tailgate before our Red Line ride down to Fenway, to see what would be a 5-4 Red Sox win over the Yankees. Riding the wave of euphoria as "Dirty Water" still rang in our ears we filed out just in time to see the main pack of Marathon runners approach Kenmore. 70 degrees, a Sox win and blissfully enjoying the nubile BU coeds. A truly beautiful day.

Another weekend in the bank

And there was reason to celebrate as my monthly financial boat arrived and not a moment too soon. Ushering in the occasion in grand style, my roommates and I managed to get out for some fun. Thinking back, I believe that this is the first time the three of us have actually been "out" in quite some time. Funny how a slew of weekend getaways, significant others, random dates, colds, work, and movies really got in the way. But it was long overdue. We went to one of K's fave places with two of my friends and her harem of incredibly gorgeous friends.

We managed to snag a corner table and are utterly cooler for it. (I really enjoy buying my roomies & friends drinks; I hope that one day I'll be able to afford to say, "round of drinks on me," and actually mean it, until then it's Frosties all around.) A few libations and the dance floor beckons. As the three of us are grooving, J notices three fair Asian (Korean I believe) girls sauntering nearby. Of course she suggests that I should totally mingle. They both volunteered to run interference for me too.

I love the fact that J and K are so keenly intune with my dating life. And that's where things always get tricky. Jokingly, K said that one of the reasons that I should live with her is that she has lots of cute friends. Being in close proximity to numerous fun and attractive girls has only happened once before. And that was when I was in the middle of serious committed relationship #2 and for whatever reason she did not enjoy that one bit.

So here's the thing, I think I've talked to one of K's friends a few times and I think she's really cool. And while that may seem like a good thing I'm not so sure. On one hand, she knows that I'm an upstanding, disease-free, gainfully employed, witty, young man who can cook and is clean enough to live with two girls. Contrary to that, she also knows that I have schmoozed with my fair share of gals in the last few months. I don't want to come across as lecherous that's for sure. And I'm not really sure how to go about mentioning this to K. Last time I was interested in one of her friends, I totally went the high school route and that didn't work out well. Maybe I'll build her friend a cake or something?

But dating stories for another day as the crown jewel of the weekend was grill shopping with Mom & Dad.
I have this mental list of big ticket items that I want to buy, but I think a grill will be the most practical and enjoyable of them all. For a grill is more than just cooking over an open flame. It is the official smell of summer time. It's having people over on Wednesday night. It's Bring Your Own Meat. It's standing outside talking to my neighbor, watching the Little Leaguers practice and cooking my dinner at the same time. It's equal parts primal instincts and thoughts of "I'm cooking with gas" novelty aprons dancing in my head.

All that's left is to figure out a way for me to get the grill up to the apartment. The three of us celebrated with a center cut filet tenderloin. Just doing my part to keep PETA down.

What happens when 10 scientists get together and stop being polite and start getting real...

Top 10 ways that the world is going to end

Pay particular attention to #7, as technophobes like me are going to be enslaved as drones.

Attention guy in the bathroom

Don't talk to me while I'm on the pot, least of all asking me about any good movies that I may have seen lately. And saying that it's like, "we're brothers sharing a bathroom" is wrong on so many levels. I can't make this stuff up.

We also have three sinks, two with the push-down faucet that you need to hit 4 or 5 times during the course of a thorough handwashing and one traditional one. Why everyone doesn't use the traditional one you can turn on and off is beyond me.

Our urinals also need ghey guards.

I knew it... hippies

Usually I am at the head of the line when it comes to the latest gizmos and gadgets, but for whatever reason the whole Nalgene thing just struck me as wrong and this confirms my suspicions all along.

I know the ongoing argument for and against drinking at least eight cups of water a day. It makes sense that you should drink when you are thirsty, but not to the extent of lugging around one of those 64 oz. plus bottles like some sort of beast of burden.

Updated April 14, 2005:

You know Nalgene's are lame when they have these:


Talk about suckers...

Cathartic

It’s been one of those weird nights where I totally over think things and get myself in trouble. Totally had one of those High Fidelity moments where I look back and take stock of my past relationships. And for whatever reason, I somehow managed to actually talk to not one, but two, exes. They are both doing well.

Boob, you're still swell and when I’m famous one day you’ll get to appear on my E! True Hollywood story and let everyone know how I really am. Thanks again.

Oh what a nice little tea party we have here

Yup sitting around messing around on the interweb, writing some ads and drinking scotch while my roommates and their boyfriends enjoy a nuclear dinner. Not that I'm bitter... just a quandary regarding my latest girl du jour. So I raised my standards of what I'm looking for in a girl and, as Erin pointed out, with that comes a smaller dating pool and more competition.

Had lunch again today with "Summer" and it went really well. The thing is that afterwards I was talking to a co-worker (also a single guy on the "make") who happens to know her. He mentioned that he knows that a lot of other guys at work are interested in her. I guess in such a large company there have to be the "hot girls". But the thing is those guys he knows to be really shady and are courting quite a few other girls. I guess I don't want to be lumped in with those guys, because 1) they are really sleazy 2) I have a feeling that girls can see through that and 3) I'm so much better than them. Come on now, wearing a tight t-shirt and having washboard abs is a lot easier than making a girl laugh at a pirate joke.

I'm totally hitting on all cylinders regarding wit and humor, but I'm wondering if I'm out of her league. I'm pretty easy on the eyes, but I'm sure hot girls look at guys differently. I definitely think that a non-cafeteria date is in order to see where I stand. My advantage over the office-dunderheads is being sincere.

Oh and the kicker was that the ATM was broken so I ended up buying her lunch...

Champs 

Papi*

Did you ever imagine this?

In just under 2 hours the Sox will receive their WS rings and all will be right in New England for one day again. You know how lucky we are to have witnessed what was 86 years in the making? Forget the 2-4 start because today is a celebration of the winning, losing, adversity, heartache and joy of not one magical year, but for summers upon summers worth pursuing that night in St. Louis. It is a celebration not only for us, but for everyone who has ever followed the Sox and for those who will grow up knowing Boston as Title Town. I for one am glad I never had to wait until my twilight years to see this day. I wish I was there in person, but I will always have the memories of the 2004 Boston Red Sox.

Opening day, first pitch, a new season as Champions.

Lunch with Mom

It was such a nice day outside today that grabbing a bite at the local burger joint made perfect sense. I had the BBQ burger, she had the Conestoga. After lunch we went grille shopping. I guess it's the home owner in me, but I want something nice. The days of ground-dwelling hibachis are over and any self-respecting man should definitely be cooking with gas. So I guess I'm looking at anything from $150-$250. I also gave her the walking tour of the local malls and she was somewhat less than impressed with what they had to offer. They are literally strip malls with the Old Country Buffet being the main attraction. I'm sure it was really great in the late 80's, but then again the Westgate Mall rocked back then. After that we went to Friendly's for cones.

Do you remember how when you were younger and if you ever dropped your cone they gave you have a new one? Well I do, but when you're almost 25 I'm not so sure it still works. But it's cool because it was a lot of ice cream and as nice a day as it was, I wouldn't have been able to eat it fast enough before it melted. The best part was when an employee was taking the trash out and he almost stepped in my melting ice cream and he glanced over at me. My mom almost lost it.

Torn

So I'm not exactly sure what to do with you and what I feel. You're a cool girl and we've been friends for a while. And I think I'm digging you. I don't want it to be weird. Maybe we should smooch for just a bit and then I'll know. Either way I don't want it to ever get weird because you're a cool chick. Right so we'll see how it goes. We can go out and date other people, but once I'm tired of hearing about the guys you go out with and I don't want to go out with any other girls then I know I really like you. Word. Night.

Grrr

Maybe one day I'll learn to write my posts in Word, then copy & paste them into this field? I doubt it, more likely I'll have to try recalling what I intended to write and it's never as funny/good. Anyways here is the closest approximation to what I originally wrote:

Talking baseball...

It's 1 AM and I'm up watching the game. Wait, the game? 1 AM? How can it be? There's no way a 7:05 start should last this long. And the Sox aren't even playing tonight. What gives? Well you see that's because I'm watching the Fox Sports West feed of the Dodgers game. And when there's a break in play I switch over to the (Anaheim) Angels. Earlier on in the night my buddy Alex mentioned that for the first week of the season MLB is offering a free trial of its Extra Innings package. That's 60 games a week! 60!

I wish I knew about this sooner, I would have never left the couch. Besides all the Sox games on nesn, I'll actually be able to watch Carl Crawford's 30x30 potential down in TB, Joe Mauer behind the plate in the Twin Cities. I'll be cheering as my boy Ichiro goes for .400. And when the bottom of the 9th rolls around in LA I'll have my Game Over shirt on, pounding my chest. Heck on a nice sunny day, I might even have to skip work, fire up the grill, grab a beer, put on my Nomar Cubbies jersey and take in the Friendly Confines.

Sure it's extra money, but it's worth it. 60 games a week remember. And if I order before Sunday I save $20. That breaks down to about a dollar per week. Man I better start hocking my Big Mac bobblehead collection soon, either that or renting my roommates' beds out per hour.

Hot

I'm wondering how long this flirtation with summer is going to last, but last night electricity was really in the air . It goes without saying that the city of Boston's collective mood ebbs and flows with the success of the Red Sox. After two disappointing losses to the Yankees to start the season things were looking bleak. But through the same Why Not Us? spirit that carried the guys to the title last year, the Sox came back and gave Rivera (Torre, NY fans, and the media) something to think long and hard about, winning 7-3. Even watching the game on MLB Gamecast and corresponding with Samir in NYC, while at work, I was able to enjoy the game.

With that being said, tonight was also the premiere of Fever Pitch, the Farley Bros. new film based upon the Nick Hornby novel. Things kicked off in grand style as a few Sox players joined Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore in a helicopter entrance into Fenway. You could see how much the guys were enjoying it and I'm sure if Arod doesn't make that error, the Sox players smiles would not have been as wide. Oh, and without question the hottest wives of the night went to Mrs. Damon and Mrs. Ortiz, although Mrs. Wakefield is pretty easy on the eyes as well.

The best part of the whole night was that I was at my buddy Will's place who lives, honestly, a stones throw from Fenway. Watching the spectacle take place right next door, ridiculing the atrocity known as Hazel Mae, an incredible meal courtesy of his girl, Kerry, windows open and the Fenway lights shining in... truly amazing.

frantic, er hectic

Just got back from a meeting that was hella, yes hella, crazy and am now finished checking my morning email and polishing off the rest of breakfast. I love being behind the eight-ball the entire day:

10 minutes late leaving the house this morning, which was fine until I saw the backup a mile off my exit. Finally get to my desk at quarter past and had just poured the water into my oatmeal when my manager comes over. She wants me to show the new temp around the place: set up her computer, get her ID badge, cafeteria, bathrooms, etc. Fine no problem, except I don't know if English is her first language. Such a curve ball. Oh and as I'm haphazardly introducing her to people I end up running into "Summer". I don't know what I said to her, I was really not paying attention, but I'm sure it wasn't funny or intelligent. Broken glass Matt... broken glass. More meetings to come.

Today rules.

more fantasy

I joined my third and final fantasy baseball league of the year yesterday. I was worried about spreading myself too thin, but this new league is such a joke. The comish has never run a league before and he decided it's going to be a points league. He is also putting an emphasis on OBP which is new and I can deal with, but our pitching categories are messed up. Wins don't count, neither do saves. Let that sink in. Oh, but he decided to go with overall Ks and BBs as well as K/9IP and BB/9IP. It's cool though, most of these guys are a bunch of maroons who wouldn't know a Duaner Sanchez if he bit them in the butt. The only reason I joined is because it is with a few friends and former co-workers from bzz and I thought I was going to be able to say things like, "your pitching is almost as embarrassing as what you pay your employees!"

But since it was so last minute they decided to have a live draft a mere eight and a half hours before first pitch last night. I'm serious. I had my uncle's b-day party and had to live and die with the Autodraft. It wasn't as bad as the infamous alphabetical Brett Abernathy/Bobby Abreau draft, but I don't have a starting second baseman and only one closer (K-Rod) but under these rules that might be okay. Oh yeah, I have BONDS. How the heck did I end up with Bonds?

Dating pool

I think I'm getting a rep at work that I really don't want.

I've been working for just about four months now and I have met two co-workers for what some people would term "lunch dates". Big whoop? I like people, I like food. And at this stage of my life, work is a very viable option to meet people, especially with a such a large and diverse candidate pool. But that's besides the point. "Ellen" is a fellow twinkie who would really make my dad happy, but we're just friends. At some point in the future I will ask if she has any younger sisters. The other was nice, but chemistry not so much. Which means that the third time's the charm, right?

I met "Summer" this past Tuesday while waiting in line to get a new ID badge. Actually, it was me, Summer and this older woman riding in the elevator to the security office, but I knew that it was going to be at least 20+ minutes of waiting in line and I thought to myself, I would much rather make conversation with cute blond over the middle-aged woman any day of the week. So this is where my biologically-mandated instincts takes over and I sprint-dash in front of the older woman to stand next to Summer. Basic small-talk consisting of waiting, eye-rolling, " it's taking forever", " that's a cool pin you're wearing", "what department are you in?", "Hi, I'm Mike", "Oh, I started in January too", "I live two miles from you", "we should grab lunch". Yada, yada lunch is set up for the end of the week.

Friday: Ideally, a first date consists of two people going out to some sort of place/event, where both parties engage in conversation and consume some sort of sustenance. Due to rain and the nature of our encounter, this ended up being in the office caf sitting with 6 fellow co-workers. Oddly enough we have a mutual acquaintance Rich, who works in my dept. and is roommates with her friend. As we were about to snag a nice table by the window, trays in hand, Rich says that we should all sit together, "unless you want to be alone?" He's a friendly guy, he didn't know. Talk about salting your game.

Things actually went pretty well. Now she knows that I have more than 24 minutes of material and I know that she is capable of carrying on non-linear conversations. We even split a peanut butter cookie. I think I'm going to see if she wants to take a walk Tuesday afternoon.