Eating disorder

Well I did it again. Spilled all over myself at work again. This time it was apple cinnamon oatmeal. So until further notice all morning meetings are cancelled due to the fact it looks like a baby just vomited on my pants. Awesome…

The chase

I'm sorry our little cat and mouse had to come to an end this morning, it was most enjoyable. But you see I was going Eastbound and you Westwards. Perhaps if things were different and time were less fleeting I would have followed... alas.

The morning commute started out ordinary enough, but as I stopped at the set of lights right before my on-ramp I spy a couple of lovely damsels beside me in a green Jetta. Of course they were nattily attired in those extra-large, tres chic sunglasses and stylishly wrapped scarves, bobbing along to what seemed to be the same radio station as me. Luckily for me I had my contacts in and the fresh snow had ridden my ride of salt. So I did what any self-proclaimed gentleman/dorkus would do: I went with the extreme grandiose gesture of waving them before me and then a gregarious smile and wave. Sensing the whimsical nature laid before us this morning they took the bait and proceeded to wait as I merged alongside them again. Suffice it to say this was innocent flirting at it's most harmless, save the possibility of careening to our doom. But nothing ventured and nothing gained. And synchronizing our highway weaves was much more enjoyable than the staccato trance of drivetime talk and traffic. So thank you very much Betty & Veronica, we'll always have Interstate 90.

I love your sideways hat, pouty lips, ample breasts and think you have a great *personality*

I think I finally figured out everyone's fascination with myspace. There are a whole lot of dimes on there that post amazingly hot pictures of themselves. Not only are they top-level talent, but most likely they have eating disorders and thus self-esteem issues, so when you ask to be their "friend" they will add you no questioned asked. And once you're connected you get access to the inner sanctum of even more whored up pictures. So when perusing through the ms-biosphere remember that the dude with the litany of 19 year old hotties when not spending time on myspace is a) watching Law & Order and b) masturbating*.

Everyone else is schilling the latest *band* or being goth (because they had a sale at Hot Topic). Hipsters have already given up on myspace in lieu of this macrame and good old fashioned dry humping.

*My new way to describe someone who has little to game

She's beautiful

So at 1:30 am after a night of booze-fueled dancing without question everyone tends to look a little "nicer" shall we say. We've all made the oh god what have I done? looks like I gotta knaw off my arm to escape moment before. But last night leaving the bar my buddy Stefan points out the most beautiful image that layed before us. There's a new Boca Grande right around the corner. Man I can't wait. Carnitas enchiladas with tomatillo sauce, extra jalapenos and sour cream makes the world go round.

My that was a lovely fortnight

Sorry about being MIA of late. There's been lots going on, but the blogging thing was getting a bit old and I was really thinking of putting Quan'sWorld out to pasture. But fortunately for you I met some pretty young thing and we ended up exchanging blog addresses, so I figure I should be active. So hello again. I'll have to hop into the Delorean and try to recap the past few weeks, but for now we'll stick to today.

So today was the big move that has been bandied about for literally over a year. [tear] I'm losing my window cube at work. This may not seem like that big of a deal to those not working in Corporate Land, but it's little things like that that made Office Space a cult-classic. Anyways I'm leaving my window cube at the end of the row for one on the corner of right- outside- my- manager's-office and high-traffic hallway. [sigh] Anyways my desk and affects have been packed in those orange moving crates and as 10:30 came and went so did my Cubicle of Solitude.

Now what's a company to do when the computers and phones are gone, send everyone home right? Ha, if life could be so grand. I don't want to bore you with the details, but things played out like when you used to have a substitute teacher back in high-school. Yup that's right: we watched videos. Actually they weren't too bad and I got to enjoy a nice lunch with some friends, but in the grand tradition of the high-school substitute I ended up high-tailing it out of there around 2:30.

It was gorgeous out. The sun shining and the thermometer hovering on the good side of 50. I was living on Bonus Time with only thoughts of going for a walk and taking a nap in my head. But not so fast because as I approached my car I noticed that I had a flat tire.

"Ugh, I shouldn't even be here today."

At least I managed to change a tire and validated myself as a man. So we'll put the thought of having to get a new set of tires ($) aside for now, I nixed the walk, but will settle down for that nap as soon as I'm done with this. Leaving me just enough time to get ready and meet the folks for dinner, followed by an evening out getting down lower than Atlantis...

I'm back!

"It's for charity dammit."That's what I kept telling myself at work yesterday. You see the theme of the Department (post-) holiday party was the Big Easy. And all the proceeds were going to be made to Katrina Relief. But it still hurts when the result of my split Aces are another Ace, resulting in a 19, 17 and 19... to the dealer's fucking 20.

Yeah Casino Day at work was the bomb. A good cause and anytime there's an excuse for crab cakes, sweet potato fries and mini sliders I'm all in. Plus "gambling" on office time is top notch. My only regret is that my rumor of being able to drink, smoke and curse openly did not go so well. Frankly what's a blackjack table without?

Oh I think I've got that bird-flu that's been going on of late. I can't believe that I get sick the week back from vacation. But I think I've been able to coral things (knock on wood) with massive doses of OJ and homemade chicken soup, not to mention that someone's being sweet and taking care of me. And I just made the switch to the tissues with lotion. No one likes a chafed nose.

The road to Motown starts. Patriots win!

Question

I have tomorrow off and I plan on using it as a reacclimation back into the working world. No more late-night benders and sleeping well into the pm. Seriously though I'm already doing that thing where I calculate if I go to bed now, I'll get X hours of sleep. You know you've done it, but a full 30 hours in advance. Yup that's what happens when Christmas Vacation '05 comes to its end... sigh.

So before I call it a night do I change the sheets or leave them on so her perfume lingers a bit more?

This is what I'm going to do

I'm a little bit late on the whole 2006 New Year's post, but you can blame that on the ubernotcool dj from last night. You see he was too busy spinning played out mid 90's tunes to actually give us a heads up that the countdown was on. Oh well, at least I got to see Dick Clark in all his post ball-drop glow and glory.

Moving onto New Year's resolutions. I'm keeping things simple and going with more nookie and less lunch at my desk. For everything else I'm taking a page out of Capt. Bee's book and going with: 9) New Year's resolutions are fucking ridiculous pieces of trash. Talk to someone right now and ask them if they remember what their resolutions were last year or if they followed them. I'd put the general success rate at 1%.

Seriously though, all my focus will to ensure that I will be munching on sourdough/writing near the Mission circa September '06.

Oh yeah, I plan on getting addicted to this show because quite frankly girls with rollerskates are hot.

Here's to you 2006!