Incident at lunch

So I was eating lunch at this Indian place outside, minding my own business between bites of chicken saag, when I see this old coot in a wheelchair trying to open the door to get inside. He motions to me and the door so I go and open it for him. I return back to my table outside and continue my meal. About a minute later I hear a bunch of shouting and whatnot and the big kitchen guy comes wheeling the handicapped fella, outside yelling at him. Turns out that wheelie guy ends up going to the front of the restaurant inside and proceeds to whip it out and just pisses everywhere...oops, my b.

I know it wasn't my fault, but I was too ashamed to go back inside to say anything (and what would I have said?), so I put "about" what I thought I owed for my food down and left. Oh and I wanted to take some of my leftovers home, but that would have meant going back in and walking through the piss so I just took a bunch of napkins and wrapped my naan up and put it in my pocket.

You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry.

In all honesty, I don't really consider myself a man of action nor to I cave to the rash decision before me. But in the immortal words of David Chappelle, "sometimes you gotta choke a bitch." Only in this case the bitch was random drunk douchebag walking down the street.

The scene played out as follows: walking from party A to party B with some people from school, including "my girls". These aren't just any girls though, they are are my fellow classmates who I've kinda taken a big brother approach. Ages 22-23, doe-eyed and rather fetching. So perfect targets for said douchebag. As he is stumbling and walking towards our group it is obvious he is drunk and making crass remarks that are clearly audible. So we speed up and huddle closer together - the norm.

But what the fuck? This guy clearly crossed the line as he approached my friend The Canadian. He gets within a foot of her and out of nowhere, my hand shoots out pushes him in the chest and tells him to suck a D.S. Oh fuck, what's going to happen next? A string of R-rated words are exchanged, all the while I am clenching my fist and telling him to stand the fuck down. My mind flashes between random episodes of UFC, those judo moves Dad taught me back in the day and Bloodsport. I'm just glad his friend grabbed him and got the hell out of there - that was a scary situation.

But yes, I got to use the patented "penis envy" line! Ah, balls of steel, iron will and rapier wit, how I love thee.

The thing is that this has happened before. It was like my senior year in high school and my rage was unleashed all in the name of chivalry and protecting the honor of one of my female friends. That time, said douchebags were a bunch of "fry throwers" who inadvertently (or not) hit my friend Marielle with a ketchup-laden spud.

Only this time, I didn't think I was going to get my ass beat. Maybe because I'm older and stupider now. Or maybe because I know doing the right thing is the better option. The moral of the story is that when The Quan rolls with four of his dimes, you don't fuck with them, lest you are prepared to face my dragon-style. Eat your heart out Jet Li.

You ask me how I want to do it.
On a chair, I say, face to face.

Tremble young boy, tremble

If I was back in Boston or any other city, I would have thought it was just a passing truck or perhaps a subway. But seeing as I am in San Francisco and the rumbling seemed to be going on for almost a minute... "wait a minute I just survived my first earthquake!" It was kinda cool, but kinda scary at the same time. Especially as I was in class, which is held in the basement of the building.

A few of us new to the city freaked out a bit (OK, just me mainly). It's not like I dove under the table or ran for the doorway, but I was more than anxious to get out of there. Instead we gathered ourselves, took a break, shared a few cigarettes and then back to class. Turns out that the epicenter was in San Jose (about 45 mins south) and was roughly 5 miles underground so what we felt was a fraction of what we could have. Lucky me, this was the most powerful quake from this fault line since 88.

Looking back, everything seemed to play out just like that scene in Jurassic Park where Jeff Goldblum, et all are talking and then the little girl notices the cup of water trembling - and cue the dinosaurs!