Yeah. So what?

So twas the night before New Year’s Eve and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a mouse… wait scratch that your humble Quan is still up at this ungodly hour. And why may you ask? Was it a night of drunken debauchery involving two blondes, a brunette and a pound of blow? Ha, hardly. Well it was a drunken night, but no debauchery and that was by choice my friend. Let’s see how I ended up in this weird nether-time predicament shall we.

The day started off by being woken up from last night’s drunken debauchery (yes to the two blondes, one brunette, the Jule and my main man Geoff. No blow.) by a text message. Which led to lunch with the HS sweetie, who as I mentioned before is engaged and moving to the Pakistan and converting to Islam. Yeah, scary thought, but she’s got the Rock and we’ve all done sillier things in the name of love. (No, no I haven’t, but I am ecstatic she is happy.) On a side note I wish I had the stones I do now to crush her circa 1999 when she was top-level talent.

Anyways, I stayed in tonight because I’ve been running myself ragged over the course of the entire week. Sadly today/tonight was the end of Christmas Vacation ’05. I don’t count weekends or Monday’s holiday (observed) because I’d have that time off anyways. So I figured I’d stay in to catch up on some R&R, clean a bit, start this kickass book (Michael Chabon's Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, pulitzer baby!) I bought today and get my thoughts in order. Running parallel to these plans was renting Sideways and polishing a bottle of Red by myself. Yes, how romantic indeed. And in general Quan fashion, got a bit of cleaning done, but ended up passing out during the movie as generous glass # 4 knocked me (the fuck) out. It’s cool though; I ended up getting a solid six-hours of sleep in prior to now where I’m wide-eyed, headached and sporting a damn hangover. However I did manage to drunk dial my Muse and babbled sweet nothing’s to her.

Happy New Year’s everyone. I can’t wait for champagne and loving. I love you all.

Now about those underroos

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 80% Superman 60% The Flash 50% Green Lantern 50% Robin 48% Iron Man 45% Hulk 45% Catwoman 45% Wonder Woman 41% Supergirl 41% Batman 25%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Gotta eat yo

It's not over yet but early prognosticators are already labeling meeting for lunch as the hot trend of Christmas Break '05. Drinks are so last year and the mid-40's temperatures are allowing me to venture into the city and take advantage of the city's fine culinary choices. At a fraction of the cost nonetheless. So yes, "wanna grab lunch" is the battle cry as we ramp up for the New Year*.

Monday: Pats v. Jet with my boys. Without question seeing Big Leaguers (more on this to come) Frank and Ben making it back home was cause for celebration. On a sidenote this was the last MNF game to be televised on ABC. On deck for next year is Joe Theisman and Michaels in the booth on espn.

Tuesday: Lunch included bowls of Pho the size of my head with Ben and The Jule. Followed by the first movie I've seen since October: Narnia, Chronicles of. Missed Triva Night at the Halfway, but made up for it in Wings & Beer. Drunken card- /improv- /camp- games & kareoke ensued.

Today: Met up with some friends University friends up from NYC at the Snake for some lovely pub grub. I'm partly responsible for their recent engagement mind you. One of us used to be roomies and the and I used to play Sports Talk Baseball together, respectively. Guess who for a prize!
Tonight's Date Forecast: cancelled due to a cold front that moved in... :(

On deck is lunch with my girl from SF & her momma at Cheesecake tomorrow then lunch with my HS dreamgirl on Friday. If only she wasn't engaged.... to a guy from Pakistan... and is moving there with him... AND renouncing her US citizenship... I would tap that ass asap.

*Finally got my New Year's Eve plans figured out. Everyone's been up in the air for this and putting it off. I don't know. Too expensive. Too far. Lame. I don't know. I don't want to drive. I'm going to ask around. Well grabbed the bull by it's horn and decided a decadent night of dancing at Felt to the sultry sights of some vigorous burlesque was in order... sadly the last remaining tickets sold out 10 minutes prior to me calling. Instead I will be ringing in the New Year prone atop velvour couches with a (potential) midnight kiss lined up instead. All in all I will be champagned-fueled out facdown in someone's lap come Jan. 1.

oh yeah part of my Christmas haul was a new camera. soon Quan'sWorld will be in 2-D rendered glory!

The start of something beautiful

OK so maybe I've been mentally checked out/burned out for the past week or so, but now it's official. I am done. D-U-N. As of 3:30 today I am on vacation for the next 10 days. Ten glorious days of gluttony, sloth, drunken debauchery, wanton lust and watching cartoons. In between there will be plenty of time to enjoy the Christmas merriment at home with the folks, catch up with my boys in town for the week, gain another 4-lbs. of gravy and carbs.

Just finished up some last-minute shopping. Now I think I'm going to take a glorious nap, a 20-minute shower, eat a stake and then the big meet n' greet with an old flame.

I can't wait to start doing nothing.

Blasphemous

I know that what I am putting forth is going to be a sin to some you, but it needs to be said. In fact it's long over due. The Sports Guy has (in his own words) jumped the shark. Hear me out. So in lieu of a column about the recent events that have transpired with a newly clean-shaven member of the NYY, we get emails from his readers. OK I know he has the Sports Daughter and Sports Wife to contend with, but comeon we don't turn to the SG for what we can get from WEEI.

This isn't one of those columns that tear a hero down, but an honest gripe with one of my favorite writers. I've noticed this recent trend for quite some time, but have held out hope. I thank him for lending a voice to all that is right in the world: sports, movies, hot chicks and Boston teams, but honestly moving to the Left Coast has without a doubt taken some of the edge off. Or maybe it was the Sox finally winning it all? Who knows, but while he musters a few laugh out loud while at work and everyone looks at you lines once in a while, they are fewer and farther between of late. And this is from a guy that actually follows the NBA.

Quite frankly SG may be in the twilight of his career... (if that doesn't get the tri-weekly columns a coming then nothing will.)

So in turn I suggest you broaden we all broaden our horizons to other fertile grounds of sports/pop writing:

SportsBlah - My favorite site of late. Two self-proclaimed "dorks on sports" providing some of the most unique, intelligent and humorous takes on the latest happenings of the sports world. More difficult than you imagine and a with an inspired-SG feel to it. I even had the great fortune to work with one of the writers a few months back.

Deadspin - "Sports news without Access, Favor Discretion" The place to go for your WTF did he just say? regarding the espn, XY-dominated universe. Over the top, out this world info at its best.

Barstool Sports - "By the common man for the common man" aka pretty girls and the most amount of typos, but an interesting perspective and their bi-weekly publication is a must read, if nothing else for the pics.

UPDATE: 2:31 pm - Bill is back with his take on the Damon signing:

After Roger fled for Canada in 1996 I lost the capacity to be surpised/wounded/outraged/enraged by any athlete's departure from Boston.

I root for laundry, dammit

This is all bullshit. I know there is no loyalty in sports and every time I buy a jersey with a player’s name and number on it I am pissing that money away because free agency is always just around the corner. This wasn’t shocking in the sense that Damon and Arod will fit together like peas in a pod. I’m sure Jetes must be thrilled by this move. What the hell am I complaining about? It was and always will be about the money.

I need to get a fucking haircut.

Christmas party'd out cold

Saturday was my fifth, and hopefully final, party of the entire season. Sure I actually have Christmas day and eve to celebrate, but those will be small family affairs. At this point I will gladly exchange some prime rib and quality R&R in exchange for the forced mingling and copious amounts of booze. Don't get me wrong I am thankful for said booze, but a guy's gotta have his limit. So by this time you know that all Christmas parties break down into two camps: the friendly party and the office party. Let's deal with the former first because I'm sure by now you have encountered your fair share of office soiree etiquette. But you don't come to Quan'sWorld for the Most Popular Advice or The Season's Do's & Don'ts. You come (because you are bored and/or are amused by my antics, hopefully)

My ground rules for Christmas party etiquette:

OK so it goes without saying, don’t get fired over whatever you do. The joke wasn’t that funny. She wasn’t that hot. And if she was that hot, then she sure as well wasn’t that old. This is pretty much the one and only unbreakable rule for the night. Now it’s up to you to enjoy yourself as much as possible on the company dime.

Step 1-
Make out at much as possible. Just be sober enough to recall the entire event and DO NOT show embarrassment. The office gossips can smell fear a mile away. That way when you do hear the whispers you can scream, "This is America dammit, I pay my taxes!" HR has no response to that.

Step 2-
If I ever deem the occasion necessary enough for a sports coat and/or a liberal dash of cologne, in the days between November 31 to December 30 I expect an open bar. Seriously people. If there should be a cash bar, feign disdain never feel obliged to tip said tender. In fact when one of your coworkers reaches for his wallet, roll your eyes and mutter, “I can’t believe we have to pay for these.” If there is said open bar, only order mixed drinks. Nothing bottled and no more than 2 glasses of wine with dinner.

Step 3-
FREE FOOD can't be beat. Revert back to undergrad days. Bring Tupperware if possible. Bacon wrapped scallops, sushi, spinach dip, filo dough wrapped anything, all in a good night’s work. And the Holy Grail of hor devours: shrimp cocktail.

Step 4-
Dress better than everyone else. This works in conjunction with Step 1. By no means does this mean black tie if decorum calls for (shudder) business casual, but on the other hand a nice pair of Dockers isn't the answer either.

Step 5-
Make it a point to dance with a girl in a backless dress regardless of who she is and the music being played.

Well there you have it in five simple steps, my advice for surviving Office Holiday Parties.

There's the boat with everyone on it and here's me going the other way

I don't know about the kids these days. First it was the interweb, then their i-pods and now it's this myspace thing. I'm usually into these sort of things, but it's just not doing it for me. This isn't one of my arbitrary rants where I rail against something, but I honestly don't get it.

OK let's look at it this way. I never got into the whole xanga or livejournal thing either. Heck I'm using blogger, the simplest, most user friendly program out there, of all things.

And while I may not be the most knowledgeable person regarding myspace my understanding is that it basically boils down to being a cross between a blog (this is mine if you missed that) and friendster (and it's institutionalized offspring thefacebook, both of which I am members of). So I guess I really don't have a need for you myspace. But much in the same vein that I do not have a need for a Vespa or a pair of custom made Pumas I have one.

Basically I'm not in it for the chotkes. I don't need your bells & whistles. I'm not into it for the band. I don't want you to know my interests. Hell I like watching tv, dining out and fantasy sports am I unique? And I most certainly don't want to be your "buddy". Unless you're hot. And slutty. And sign off with "hugs & kisses xoxoox!!"

So don't be angry with me myspace. Things just wouldn't work out. Don't worry about it though, it's not you, it's me.


PS: No question, you know I have an account.
hugs & kisses xoxoox!!

Back from the Bay

So I’ve been back for a week but it’s been a busy week. That and the snow if you haven’t head. And without further adieu my trip to San Francisco.

Dear San Francisco,

I could go on and on about how awesome you are. Your amazing weather, gorgeous views, fantastic restaurants and amazing culture, but you already know that. With that being said, I dig you SF. I can totally picture myself living amongst your swank denizens and hilly streets. Even with the tremendous cost of living I figure I'll save on monthly gym fees just by walking everywhere. Not to mention the quarter-bouncing ass I'll have in no time flat. Everything checked out well with the MAS. Got most of my questions answered even if I wasn't able to sit in on a class, but thems the breaks I guess. I guess the thing that really got to me was that I didn't feel like a stranger at all.

Many thanks Krissy & Alex for letting me crash with you. You guys were excellent hosts, your place is da bomb and hopefully I'll be living in your general hood if I can afford it. There’s nothing like waking up around 10:30 or so shaking off the jetlag and walking outside to some beautiful 50-degree weather, in DECEMBER mind you. And ain't no party like an swanky, open-bar, four floor, international buffet, dressed to the nines, mile-high chocolate cake, live band, dancing girls agency party!

OK so my theory is that while I didn’t get to see/experience everything I wanted to, the next time I'm out there I won't be a wide-eyed tourist. At least that's the game plan so far. So yeah I'd say I had a good trip and given my druthers I'll be there circa Fall 06. I still have to hang on the edge of a trolley car. I still want to sneer at the hippies in the Haight. I need to drink merlot from a local vineyard. So I’ll be back and it’s going to be fucking amazing. But that's still a bit away… plenty of time left to kick the tires on a few other avenues of life.

Pre-New Year's Resolution

To: everyone who I am friendly with

Subject: Let's hang out before 2006

Pending ideas include: dinner, drinks, movies, ice skating, making out/hooking up, Holiday Parties, throw the pigskin around, Christmas shopping, snowball fight, arts & crafts, coffee, etc.

RSVP: holla